I’ve been struggling with some thoughts for a couple of weeks, now, on a very controversial theme. Several recent experiences have coincided to prompt me to think about sexuality, especially homosexuality. Let me give you pieces and then I’ll try to put them together.
The Spring Leadership magazine, which I received a couple of weeks ago, deals with various addiction and recovery concerns, including addictions that pastors face, and how the church can deal with them. This is a really good volume, both for insight into specific addictions, but also more generally for churches who want to think about engaging missionally in our culture.
The first article especially caught my attention, in part, oddly perhaps, because of an email conversation I’ve had recently with a gay man. The article features the ministry of Craig Gross, the Porn Pastor, the guy who started XXX Church (an internet ministry to people with porn addictions). He and his family have moved to Nevada from Michigan in order to work more extensively with sex workers and other people caught in the web of this sin.
And now to the point: In the interview, he refers to a study which found that nearly half of pastors surveyed (48%) admit to porn addiction. He then ponders whether this fact is the reason churches are generally not dealing very well with this problem.
Enter my email conversation with a gay man from Iowa, who is understably following closely the constitutional changes in his State. The heart of our conversation had to do with gay marriage.
I hold what would be considered a traditional view of marriage and homosexuality, so I wound up expending a good deal of energy explaining myself to this guy. I’m often frustrated with the terms and lines of argument (or lack thereof) used to talk about this most difficult of topics. I always wind up trying to distinguish myself from the hard-line Right Wing stridency while speaking (gently) for a traditional view.
Whenever I get involved in such conversations, and particularly recently, I become painfully aware of our Christian hypocrisy. Our inability to deal with heterosexual sin with appropriate love and discipline is perhaps the biggest roadblock of all to working out our differences over gay marriage.
United Methodist Annual Conferences across the country will soon be voting to ratify a number of constitutional amendments. There are several good reasons for these changes, but traditionalists are worried about potential impact on the gay marriage questions. So, we’re starting to gear up for floor debates. I dread them.
Straight people, we must make some courageous moves toward getting our own houses in order, if we want to have any moral ground whatsoever upon which to stand when we talk about homosexual practice. The log is in our own eyes. Certainly we can’t wait until we’re near-sinless before we engage the issues. But if the statistic about pastors and porn is true and if we face the fact that very few congregations deal well at all with any kind of sin, much less sexual sin (does anyone remember fornication, adultery and divorce?) then it becomes almost impossible for us not to look like utter Pharisess.